[Action] Backdated to the 2nd

[vermified]

[So a few hours after this little mess happens, the village signposts are very much in disarray. Either they've been flung around and broken or left on the side of the path, pointing in any direction they like. Normally this would not be a problem.

Unfortunately for Edward, who has no sense of direction anymore, this pretty much means that he can't find his way home from the Battle Dome. He's been wandering around for hours now, and he's getting rather desperate.

Thus, you might stumble upon a rather pathetic looking man sitting by the side of the road, glaring at a broken signpoint. This can be anywhere. Literally anywhere. Even pretty close to the plaza, where he ought to be able to see his house.

...Yes he is that bad. Please point the poor man in the right direction.

Aaaaand at some point he is going to get into a bitchfit with a [Bad username or site: moezuo title= @ livejournal.com] and get, quite literally, punched out of his clothes. Enjoy a nude Edward flying through the air and crashing through House 47's roof, Luceti.]

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[chaincutter]

[What's the proper response when the ceiling and 180 lbs of fanboy come down around your head while you're in the shower? Is it SCREAM?

Yeah. He's going with SCREAM.]

[vermified]

[The scream is both a wake-up call and a dizzying source of more pain, so it is with a great groan and grimace that Edward lifts his head, one hand shifting to press against his temple. It's around then that he notices the source of the scream- namely, a very wet and naked redhead who had broken his fall.

.....

and he'd recognize that redhead anywhere, any time, any day, even when he's flat on his back and only half-visible through the steam and the bleary eyes of a man who needs ten pounds of ice on his head.

He just landed on Lord Sigmund in the shower.

Stammering apologizes that sound perfectly clear in his mind but probably just end up making him look like a blubbering idiot, he attempts to get off and out of the tub, in the process slipping, tumbling head over heels, and smacking his head on the lip of the toilet. Still blubbering. Now bleeding.

Worst. Day. Ever.]

[chaincutter]

[Well it was a relaxing shower. Now it's not even much of a shower anymore, full as it is of dust and bits of ceiling.

Sigmund ignores Ed's gibbering for the moment - but not what should be his own considerable pain; he has never been so glad to not feel things - to clamber up and snatch his towel. He doesn't bother trying to dry off, just wraps it around his waist and goes to grab Edward by the arm to drag him out of here.

Fun fact: tile floors are slippery when wet.

Second fun fact: feeling pain and seeing stars are entirely unrelated phenomena. Who knew?]

[vermified]

[....This is not going well. At all. And after Edward sees Sigmund slip and fall the second time, he just. Lets his head drop down against the tile. Maybe it's possible to die of embarrassment, and then Sigmund will never have to know that he saw that.

Now, how does he form words again, exactly...?]

[chaincutter]

[Alright. Drag Edward out of here, take two. Hopefully with less tile-induced concussions this time... But he only has two hands, and with one of them holding Edward, and the other holding his towel, he doesn't have one to spare to do something smart like grab the towel-bar.

Edward's ejection from their now-ruined bathroom looks less like furious manhandling and more like naked drunken skating. BUT EITHER WAY, Sigmund is taking Edward by the arm and removing him from the room, grace and dignity be damned.]

Out. Out. Sit in the hall. Just... Out. [This is the sort of calm that precedes a category 5 temper hurricane.]

[vermified]

[Ow, ow, ow. Okay that was messy. Still is messy. But Edward staggers along beside Sigmund, trying to mumble another apology as long as it takes to get to the door, where he lets himself drop like a rock and curl up against the wall. He will sit in the hall like a good boy and await his punishment. Except he's already gotten his punishment because all he can see is stars, and all he can do is hug his knees with one arm and hold his head with the other.

Ow. Ow.]

[chaincutter]

[The door slams closed behind him, and then from the bathroom there is the sound of water in the sink and grumbling. So much grumbling. And the occasional loud thunk as bits of ceiling are tossed aside. And Edward will have a while to think about what he's done, because Sigmund has to check himself all over for broken bones and other terrible surprises. Unlikely, given the sort of beating he's used to taking on a regular basis. But still a concern.

Sigmund does come out eventually, still dripping wet and in just pants and his undershirt. His apparent mood has downgraded from "off with his head!" to a mere "coolly displeased." He goes to haul Edward up again, although more carefully this time, and with a hand supporting him under the other arm.]

[vermified]

[Edward hasn't really budged, and when Sigmund emerges from the bathroom again, he looks up warily, one hand still rested on his head. And now he's really wishing he'd thought to flee for his life and at least get some pants on before he starts prostrating himself before his lord seeking forgiveness. Not that he has time for many regrets, since Sigmund's getting him on his feet now, and diiiiizzy...]

M... my lord... I'm sorry for... what happened, I...

[Okay, slow words, small steps. This isn't so hard.]

[chaincutter]

[Sigmund leads him through the living room to his own, around any debris from his first trip through the ceiling.]

How do you fall through the roof twice in one day?

[Because he'd really, really like to know. He wouldn't be half as annoyed, even considering his interrupted shower, if this had only happened once. But no. Twice. Oh, Edward.

Sigmund stops in front of the bed and lets go, hands still hovering in case Edward falls over again. The last thing he needs is to be pinned under... knocked to the... floored by... oh god damn it.]

[vermified]

...I... was attacked. [His voice is muffled by a hand still over his face, half out of dizziness, but mostly because he's a little mortified about how Sigmund looks right now.] A tall blond man in a suit.

[chaincutter]

[Edward is mortified about how Sigmund looks? Is he going to be mortified about how Sigmund looks through his dresser drawers for decent clothing? Because that's what's happening. In case Ed hasn't noticed, his underwear aren't covering much anymore.]

You were attacked twice.

[vermified]

[Well how would you feel if you'd landed on the object of your worshipful affection while he was in the nude?]

I... merely touched his shoulder to ask that he fix the mess he'd made. Apparently he dislikes physical contact.

[To put it lightly.]

[chaincutter]

[The object of Edward's worshipful affection isn't still showing off his bits and pieces. Change of clothes, coming Edward's way.]

Twice.

[vermified]

[...Yeah, he should have known Sigmund would want the full story. Dammit.]

...I'd hoped he would have calmed down when I found him the second time.

[Also he was pissed because hello, punched him naked. That's not cool.]

[chaincutter]

[Oh, Edward. Sigmund is leaving, and when he comes back you had better have some PANTS ON, YOUNG MAN.

But he pauses at the door - not looking back not looking back not looking back - to deliver a little pearl of wisdom before he embarks on a hunt for ice and sanity in the kitchen.] There is a saying about discretion and valor, Edward.

[vermified]

[....

Edward doesn't have time to respond, feeling chastened by the words, not that he doesn't deserve them. Reckless behaviour once might be excused; twice in a row is just foolhardy. And worse, he's still annoyed enough to want to punch that bastard, though he knows better than to go looking for him.

Instead, Edward gives up on overthinking so much and just gets dressed.]

[chaincutter]

[Ed's temper is going to be the death of someone, someday. With his luck, it will be Sigmund.

A few minutes later, there is a knock on Edward's door frame - do you have PANTS ON in there, Ed? - and a hand poking in.

With a bundle of ice in a handtowel.

Never say your lord is not just, Edward.]

[vermified]

[He would never say that anyway, even if Sigmund is being incredibly unjust at the time. Pants on, and a shirt in the middle of being buttoned, Edward shuffles over to the door, taking the bundle and opening the door, looking sheepish.]

Th... thank you. [And now that he's reasonably coherent again-] ...I'm sorry.